This is not about "how to do Linux forums", though you might pick up a few tips. It's about an innocent Windows user who, through a fit of madness, decided to explore the strange and secret world of the Penguin. And inevitably ended up in the forums.
Now, we are not trying to insult the high priests of the Distro World, but some of these people are sooo ultra sensitive ..... hurmph ...... the deed is done, TOO LATE!! ...... TAKE COVER!!
Joking aside, I had to visit lots of forums and I mean
lots because I tried out quite a few different flavors of the OS (distros). And no joking, the culture of these forums can be very different. Some manned by geeks who lack social graces and comfortable only in their little distro niche, they patrol the postings looking to see who they can tell off. Perhaps they get a weird sense of power which they don't have in the real world. Poor "newbies" are so intimidated by these pompous dorks, they will start their questions very apologetically "excuse me for the dumb question" or "I'm only a newbie, please be gentle" etc.
I thought I'd list the different types of helpers I came across:
Helpful Hands - You hit the jackpot if you get this guy! Possibly attending college or freshly graduated, he carries his knowledge lightly and dispenses it generously. If he does not know the answer, he says so honestly. When problem is solved, moves on and possibly goes off to play baseball or see a girlfriend.
Usefulness: 9/10
Dutiful Dad - Hey, this is very good; the guy
really knows what he's about and answers with depth and insight. Family guy with children, so knows to answer at a level of knowledge of the poster. The best. Take note of his forum name, "xxxxx", then at the end of your future questions, you can add "perhaps xxxxx would know the solution".
Usefulness: 10/10
Geeky Genius - Ok he knows it all and his head is full of the answers, but how to get it out? Ask what you think is a simple question but you get this back: "post your
**!?@# and switch
*(#@?> to
/;+{}!# . Ask him to please clarify and you get more of the same. What d'you do next?? Ask him to talk in human language?
Usefulness: 5/10 (with time you might start to understand him more)
Angry Aggro - What's up with this goon; you ask a question and he comes and bite your head off. Or he asks back "
why do you want to do that for?!" Or "
question answered elsewhere, google it!" Of course you googled it, that's why you're here! Or his favorite "
RTFM" (read the friggin manual). If you dare answer back (nicely, of course), you will start to get to personal insults and sarcasm. This guy has psychological problems - probably bullied at work or at home or on steroids. And no life outside the forums, a real saddo.
Usefulness: 0/10
Clueless Clod - You know the type - just solved his first Linux problem by asking on the forums and thinks he's an expert. Trouble is you might not have spotted his type and followed his suggestion only to render your Linux install un-bootable! Another trait of this guy is to answer a different question to the one you asked and insist that you do what he's suggested. Or even worse, give you a totally wrong answer. Then he hangs around asking for you to report back 'cause he wants your gratitude!
Usefulness: -5/10 (might be harsh but I had one that made my Ubuntu un-bootable)
Of course your "helper" can be a hybrid of two or more of the above and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely intentional!
Fanboi
We must not leave this post without mentioning the dreaded FANBOI (or fanboy).
The diagram is fairly self-explanatory but these species exist in all areas of life, not just Linux forums. Just mentioned that you are having difficulty with xxx in the distro and they will be on to you like a ton of bricks: "don't blame our distro for your stupidity" or "you expect us to help you with your attitude" or some other heavy duty reposte.
Some newbies have been burnt by this creature so often that they start their post with: "what a fantastic distro, probably the bestest in the universe but could I mention a teensy weensy little problem I have due to my being sooo very dim......"
